“You don find wetin you go wear for Saturday?”
“No oh, but I go enter market Friday, you know I gats look fresh”
You thought that was a dialogue between two girls, didn’t you? Ha-Ha! No. This conversation was between two…. (Wait for it)… two Igbo boys with acidic Igbo accents.
For a while, the duo went on and on about trousers and shoes, belts, shirts and hats, all for this a “Saturday event”. And what is this event, you may ask? A birthday? Nope, A thanksgiving service? I seriously doubt that. A red carpet event? Psssht, oh please.
As I sat, slightly cramped in the Ke-Ke, in between the two, I heard one of them utter a powerful four letter word that shed light on what the conversation was about. This word, which when mentioned, gives young scholars and Obasanjo brief moments of extremely heavy breathing; JAMB. They were talking about what to wear to the JAMB examination on Saturday.
These two young men, leaders of tomorrow, yammering about moccasins matching their jackets were actually talking about an exam, not just any exam. The exam that gives Naija youths sleepless nights and days filled with thoughts of the impending doom. The big J.A.M.B, the second most hated word in Nigeria, right after “Buhari”.
Still eavesdropping, I heard one of them ask the other “But guy, you don read? As in, you dey ready for the exam?”, then the other responded with a violent “Abegggiiii, no start!”
I frantically searched for a handkerchief in my purse, for you see, “Agbero number 2” shot bullets of spit into my ear when he responded to “ Agbero number 1”.
I finally found a tissue, and as I sat there in silent rage, tissue in ear, still in denial, I thought to myself; “Are these two idiots seriously arguing about who will look fresher on the day of the exam?” Yes, yes they were.
As always, in every situation, I deduce a theory. In this case, there are actually two suitable ones;
—–Either THEY are retards
——-They ARE retards.
Well either way, Aries Moda still launches in a few months! So wetin concern me?
P.S. We need to teach our youths; our future leaders that Knowledge is Power!